E61 - Book Review - Captivate: The science of succeeding with people by Vanessa Van Edwards

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Key Points:

  • There is quantifiable research that has been done showing us exactly how to be more memorable and engaging.
  • It means becoming aware of facial movements, work style preferences, and learning key engagement questions.
  • Anyone can become popular!

Key Principles:

  • Hack #1: The Social Game Plan: When you say no to survive situations and embrace thrive situations, you encourage people to also interact in a way that works for them.
  • Hack #2: The Triple Threat: When you show up with trusting, confident body language, you inspire the people you are with to be more trusting and confident.
  • Hack #3: Conversational Sparks: When you break social scripts with conversation sparks, you engage your partner’s need to respond in kind - with more interesting, exciting tidbits.
  • Hack #4: Highlighter: When you highlight people’s strengths, you not only bring out the best in them, you also encourage them to see the best in you.
  • Hack #5: Thread Theory: As you search for threads of similarities, you inspire people to hop on the “me too” bandwagon.
  • Hack #6: The Decoder: As you tap into and respond to people’s true emotions, they are more incentivized to be direct and learn about yours.
  • Hack #7: Speed-Read: When you respect someone’s true personality orientation, you show how you would like to be treated.
  • Hack #8: The Appreciation Matrix: Finding the energy to appreciate someone on their terms teaches them how to truly care about someone - so they can return it to you in kind.
  • Hack #9: Primary Value: When you show someone you value them, they are more inclined to respect your primary value.
  • Hack #10: The Story Stack: The more great, witty, clever stories you share, the more people will want to tell you theirs.
  • Hack #11: Own It!: The more you empower others, the more they will see you as a leader.

Benefits of the book:

  • Simple tips to remember to become better at getting along with people.