The new year is a tempting time to make grand declarations of reform, of new habits, of a new destiny forged in the crucible of iron will.
Yeah, used to be me. Now, not so much. It’s a gentleness tempered by age perhaps. I’ve found that a compassionate exploration of what matters most to me has led to a quiet re-orientation.
More like small adjustments of the compass, that over time, lead to an entirely new landscape.
And so I find myself in the land I envisioned years ago: a successful independent professional running a well-respected leadership facilitation and training enterprise, a best-selling, award-winning author of non-fiction and novels alike. I don’t work January or August so I can ski, and I have plans to do a two-week hiking trip this year. I am fit, healthy, and happy with my life and work.
This is possible for all of us.
Not with grandiose commitments, but with simple reflection and careful, smaller choices.
Start with these three key areas:
Define what is ‘enough’.
I learned this from the fabulous Peter Cook years ago. In a presentation, he expounded what it was like to spend a day with a multi-millionaire who had all the trappings of an extravagant life: fast car, big house, his own plane. Was he any happier than he was 10 years before when the car was less flashy, his house more ordinary and there was no plane?
Not really. He had more things to manage and more complexity in his life. Happiness was about the same.
There is no arguing that more money gives you more options. But the better question is, how much do I need to feel like I have the options that I want?
And this applies to all our resources: how much time off is enough? How many friends are enough? How much food is enough? How many clothes are enough?
When you don’t have much, more always feels like the better option. At some point though, there is an ‘enough’ threshold. It’s better to know what that is. It might save you from years of pressure and relentless pursuit of more when satisfaction and happiness might have come earlier.
What could be less?
It’s related to what is enough, but has some finer points to consider. Many have written about the power of focus, of doing the ‘one thing’, of reducing priorities. A sense of abundance allows one to feel comfortable with less.
Some areas I am applying the ‘less’ litmus to:
Work - see notes on ‘enough’. I am not working Fridays this year. I have financial targets that are about meeting my needs, not my ego.
Pressure - also related to ‘enough’. I’ve reclaimed my definition of success: success is enjoying the work and the ride, not some imaginary ‘pinnacle’. Comparison-itis is being burned on the sacrificial altar of past motivators.
Scrolling in the morning - this seems to be a perennial one for me! I will work on activating the flow cycle instead of getting the quick dopamine hits.
Clients who are not ready for transformative leadership development. The work I do is not easy. It requires an adjustment of worldview, of confronting reflection, of a willingness to try new things, to celebrate small wins while having big visions. It’s a long and rewarding road for those who are courageous to walk it. I’m with those leaders.
What could be more?
This is a trap as we are naturally programmed for more - our scarcity, fear of hunger, hard-wiring in our DNA makes us want to hoard - everything.
Here is on my ‘more’ list:
Rest
Camping
Massage
Stretching
Water
Meditation
Reaching out to friends and family for hang outs.
Notice the sense of pace in the ‘more’ section. It’s more of being present, of enjoying, of relaxing.
If we did more of that, everything else seems easier.
Thanks for reading and leading! Leadership is a calling and a privilege that requires courage and commitment daily. Thank you for the work that you do.
Live well, lead well.
Want to build solid leadership practices for 2024 and beyond?
Join us at the Leadership Conclave
We will be talking about our changing relationship to power, digging deep on our individual skills and talents, and laying the habits and practices to handle these trends and more.
BONUS for those who register before 1st Feb: special access to self-paced study module Lead Self, to help you plan and organise your personal world. Complete with workbook, checklists, templates for planning the year ahead.